Five Reflections on the Birth of My Son.

The last three weeks we’ve been adjusting to having a newborn baby boy in the house. We are so grateful to God for giving him to us. Here’s 5 reflections I have on being a dad to a baby boy.

I have a new respect for the sacrifice women go through to bring a baby into the world.

Now, to be fair, I always knew this to be true, but I didn’t realize the full extent of the wonder of childbirth. After having watched what my wife went through to bring Tobias into the world, I take back every ignorant comment I’ve ever made about women and childbirth. Its no joke. From long months of hormonal changes and body changes and appetite changes and not being able to eat what you used to or do what you used to, it is an enormous sacrifice to bring forth life. I’ve learned more about women’s health than I ever cared to know (and I was barely mature enough to watch the educational videos about nursing a baby). My wife has been incredible with our baby boy … she’s done all the heavy lifting while I just fill up her water bottle and change diapers. I’m in wonder at how intricately and wisely God designed women’s bodies, and watching a baby come out is a miraculous thing for which there are no adequate words. To all women everywhere - forgive me for all the dumb bachelor comments I made about bearing children. :)

I’m caught off guard by how cool it is to watch other people love your baby.

We had the unique experience of being able to spend a couple days at the hospital just Shanna and I and our son. No visitors due to Covid restrictions. We also had the wonderful experience of being able to bring him home to meet his sisters for the first time. I wasn’t prepared to see the joy on everyone’s faces when we brought him, a brand new human being, home from the hospital. 

It was great to see the natural talent (or maybe even spiritual giftedness) of our nurses.

There was a nurse that was present for our labor/delivery named Anne who was obviously a veteran at delivering babies. My wife had several failed epidural attempts so we decided to go through with a natural birth. This particular nurse was the kindest, gentlest, most comforting presence for both of us in the midst of labor, constantly reassuring and compassionate. Afterwards, another nurse mentioned that she had learned everything she knew about labor and delivery from Anne, who was one of the most celebrated mentors to the other nurses. I think God wires certain people to be naturally good at helping, caring, creating space for, comforting, and healing others, and I loved seeing Anne in action. 

I’m finally experiencing the parallels about God’s relationship with us.

I’ve heard preachers use illustrations about their kids my whole life but I’ve never fully related or understood. Now that I am holding my son in my arms, I can see why people have often claimed that having a child will give you a totally new window into your relationship with God. Now let me also say that a long singleness, or a lifetime of childlessness, or the long struggle of wanting family and children but not being able to … these things when surrendered to Christ can also open a person’s heart and soul to God in a way that marriage and having children cannot. I’m not saying “I’ve been upgraded” in my ability to understand God’s love for us. But after having had a child, I have a living, breathing, sleeping, crying, pooping and peeing metaphor for what it means to be a “father.” I’ve often thought of Hosea 11 the last few weeks, where the prophet speaks of Israel being a child loved by his father, and Ephraim being an infant whom God the Father taught how to walk, taking them up into his arms. When Israel was hungry, God fed him. When enslaved, God redeemed. When lost, God rescued. When rebellious, God disciplined. The way God sees his people is not unlike the way a loving father sees their newborn son, and that’s a mindblowing thought.

Having a baby will make you a person of prayer.

The dark part of my mind knows that histories worst humans were once infants in the arms of adoring moms and dads. History’s best humans were as well. Beholding the face of Tobias asleep, I find myself praying God’s protection over his life - that he will become a man of prayer, that God will protect him from the enemies lies. That God will surround him with godly friends and one day, a woman of kindness, beauty, generosity, and strength to love him and whom he can love selflessly. I pray he will know God, and that one day I can call him my brother in Christ. I pray that he will resist the temptations of our culture, the false narratives, the worldviews resistant to God’s story. I pray he will be a man of kindness and helpfulness, servant-hearted, others-focused. But I also know that the journey to manhood is fraught with danger. Great wounds await him, but those God greatly uses, as “Israel’s” name can attest, are also those God greatly wounds. Great sorrow also awaits we his parents as every son will at least have moments of rebellion. I hope he transcends the sins of his father. I hope God’s mercy stretches cross-generationally into his life. Needless to say, all these possibilities of his life in my mind, I’ve found myself returning to my older ways of childlike prayer … begging God for things over which I’m powerless. 

Thanks to everyone who has brought us meals, prayed for us, cared for my wife and girls, and been friends to us the last few weeks.  As “Tobias’” name suggests, God has indeed been good to us. 

What reflections would you add to the list?